I really enjoyed reading Dr Quack’s Ten things I didn’t know about being in my Twenties. He’s going through his Twenties ten years after I did and he seems far more grown up than I was – I think I started to feel that way when I hit thirty not twenty-five but we’re all different. His list has inspired me to think about the things that have surprised me about being a Mum.

1. You have to be a figure of authority

When expecting my little girl I thought a lot about the birth, sleepless nights and changing nappies. That covered the first year. I hadn’t thought about how I’d handle a toddler refusing to sit in her car seat or a three year old telling me she hates me. Being stern and telling a little person off doesn’t come naturally. Losing my temper or feeling ridiculous often get in the way of telling right from wrong and being consistent is nearly impossible!

2. You are always setting an example especially about eating.

Until the age of six months it’s perfectly fine to eat a packet of Walkers in front of your baby without them trying to pinch one from you. As soon as their hand eye co-ordination is good enough they get in that packet as soon as it is opened. One of my baby boys has actually taken a biscuit out of my husband’s mouth. Snacking is now limited to secretly taking things out of the kitchen cupboard or eating fruit!

3. You are convinced your experience is unique.

Does your child refuse to nap? Does your toddler take one look at her plate at dinner time and announce, “it’s yukky!” Does your one year old snatch toys from other children? Well so does everyone else’s! It’s comforting to know when you’re going through those moments of embarrassment or frustration it’s probably nothing to do with how you’re raising your child, it’s normal. Conversely, when they do something absolutely magical like stick their spoon in your mouth and try to feed you, start dancing to music they hear on the radio or give you their teddy, they’re probably not super intelligent or generous just a baby. However, it’s still very very cute if not unique!

4. You don’t have time to waste watching big brother.

Well, sort of. When I had my first baby I did have time whilst she was tiny and only drank milk. I would watch it in the daytime safe in the knowledge she wasn’t interested in what was going on and couldn’t understand what they were saying. At around six months babies take an interest in the TV and you start to get the feeling that watching ten grown adults frolicking in a hot tub probably isn’t suitable. That leaves the evening for watching, which means you have to squeeze it in with the other 20 programmes you have sky-plussed because you can’t stay up late enough to watch them. Something’s got to give!

5. You lose track of celebrity gossip.

On uncomfortable commutes to work a celebrity magazine was a godsend. Half an hour a day catching up with the antics of former members of girls aloud or Hollywood actresses took me away from the early morning squash on the Stourbridge – Birmingham line. I also listened to the radio on my mobile, headphones in, which also kept me up to date with chart music.

At home with the children my reading material is limited to a half hour scan through Grazia on a Tuesday lunchtime and one chapter of a novel at bedtime. I have the radio on a lot but usually stick with Kerrang – familiar music to keep me cheerful. On New Year’s Eve I bought a special OK bumper pack and realised I didn’t know anyone they were talking about because I didn’t watch TOWIE or Geordie Shore!

6. Your parents were young once – probably younger than you when your child was this age.

Growing up, my parents were always sensible and domesticated. It never crossed my mind that they had friends or used to enjoy going out to the pub. My daughter knows that My husband and I socialise and go out with friends ‘in the dark’ as she puts it. But to her we’re just mummy and daddy and our world revolves around our children (which it does!) and when she’s older the thought of us being interested in fashion and music will be laughable, just as it was for me about my parents. It’s only now that I’m a parent that I’m really seeing them as human beings!

7. Your parents behave completely differently with grandchildren to you.

My dad was quite strict as we were growing up and didn’t really play with us. To be fair he was working most of the time and then doing jobs round the house at the weekend. He wouldn’t have given us our bottles or changed our nappies or read us bedtime stories – that was mum’s job. Since my daughter was born he’s taken over and mum can’t get a look in. He behaves in a light-hearted way I’ve never seen before, and whilst I’m often trying to keep control or some form of discipline he’s in there provoking as much trouble as my daughter! Does anyone else have a problem with wayward granddads?

8. It is possible to spread one biscuit across an entire room.

Snacks are essential to keep the peace and keep a hungry child going during the five hour gaps between meals. I like to keep them informal and sit the babies down on the floor with a plate so in theory they can enjoy their biscuit and raisins without been clipped into the high chair. Usually this means that baby picks up the food bites it and starts crawling whilst still holding it. Dragging it across the floor baby moves onto the sofa where they stand up and start bashing it on the cushions. By this point it is also crushed into the knees of their trousers so everywhere they go they leave a trail of crumbs. Yes, I know I should work on keeping them sat down in one place but it’s difficult!

9. It is possible to swing from total despair and boredom to complete hilarity and joy.

Sometimes, if I haven’t planned any outings for the day, and the boys have slept a lot, I find myself wandering around the house listlessly. Housework is often too noisy or unappealing to get on with and daytime TV has lost its charm after two years of maternity leave. To someone used to rushing about on the commute and in a busy office job, having time on your hands is odd and deciding how to use it constructively is difficult! Often I am not entirely sure when my babies are going to wake up, and I’m nervous about being interrupted at any time so I don’t want to get started on anything just in case I have to drop it quite quickly.

Just when I’ve reached the point of ultimate boredom and I’m staring out of the window, walls moving in on me slowly and I’m convinced time has stopped, the babies wake up, I get them out of their cots and they start babbling and playing. I make a tower of blocks for them, they knock it down, they try to climb up their bookcase or get hold of the loo roll and try and eat it. Boredom lifts and chaos reigns.

10. Going out with your friends is a special and treasured time and never ever boring.

I was 31 when I had my first child. That’s 15 years of going out, getting drunk, dancing and eating takeaways. My husband and I were finding nights out increasingly boring and weekends spent on the sofa recovering were becoming too painful. Livers well and truely stewed and piling on the weight, getting married and having children couldn’t have come at a better time – it probably saved us from ourselves! Suddenly grounded in terms of finances and the need to be at home to look after a child means that nights out are much rarer – we try for at least once a month as a couple and every couple of weeks separately. Our friends are now people that we are delighted to see and there’s so much to talk about now we don’t catch up every week. Dressing up in new clothes and spending time doing my hair and make-up whilst listening to a bit of nineties dance or indie to get me in the mood feels like it did when I was 17  getting ready to go out to the local club or the college party because it’s such a treat.